So, yeah, um, SOMEBODY fails at having a blog. *stern look in general direction of self* And if I'm ever going to be the next Anna Wintour, I need to focus more on fashion, obviously. Random side note: normally I don't mind sounding like a total blonde girl who does nothing but curl her hair and reapply lipgloss while talking on her sparkly pink cell phone, but I draw the line sometimes, namely at using "obvs" instead of "obviously." Probably because of my secret fear that "textspeak" (as old people call it when they write concerned articles in traditional media outlets on the subject) will start creeping into my writing and eventually into my papers and ruin my chances of getting a Ph.D., or even a good grade on a paper ever again.
ANYHOW MY POINT IS, HERE IS A BLOG POST. I was inspired by
another blog post I read which talked about how to dress like different fairy-tale characters... I'm kind of expanding on that with outfits I would wear (that vaguely relate to fairy tales) because (as you can tell from previous posts), I like the unreasonable level of girliness that is ok in fairy tales but not in real life. (Ew, total overuse of parentheses in that last sentence. (Ooh look how ironic this is right now. So hipster and cool! Except having a fashion blog featuring frilly clothes ruins my hipster cred. Fail. I will have to get on that asap. *grabs random obscure political paperbacks from grungy thrift store and stuffs into military-inspired messenger bag*) Anyhow yeah let's try to refrain from more parentheses.)
So here is the story of the princess I feel like being at the moment:
The Princess and the Pea.
There was once a prince, and he wanted a princess, but then she must be a real Princess. He travelled right around the world to find one, but there was always something wrong. There were plenty of princesses, but whether they were real princesses he had great difficulty in discovering; there was always something which was not quite right about them. So at last he had come home again, and he was very sad because he wanted a real princess so badly. One evening there was a terrible storm; it thundered and lightninged and the rain poured down in torrents; indeed it was a fearful night. In the middle of the storm somebody knocked at the town gate, and the old King himself sent to open it. It was a princess who stood outside, but she was in a terrible state from the rain and the storm. The water streamed out of her hair and her clothes; it ran in at the top of her shoes and out at the heel, but she said that she was a real princess. ‘Well we shall soon see if that is true,’ thought the old Queen, but she said nothing. She went into the bedroom, took all the bed clothes off and laid a pea on the bedstead: then she took twenty mattresses and piled them on top of the pea, and then twenty feather beds on top of the mattresses. This was where the princess was to sleep that night. In the morning they asked her how she slept. ‘Oh terribly bad!’ said the princess. ‘I have hardly closed my eyes the whole night! Heaven knows what was in the bed. I seemed to be lying upon some hard thing, and my whole body is black and blue this morning. It is terrible!’ They saw at once that she must be a real princess when she had felt the pea through twenty mattresses and twenty feather beds. Nobody but a real princess could have such a delicate skin. So the prince took her to be his wife, for now he was sure that he had found a real princess, and the pea was put into the Museum, where it may still be seen if no one has stolen it. Now this is a true story.
When putting together outfits based on this, I kept in mind that: A] it's a princess - sorry to be antifeminist but the outfits have to be girly. B] she was out in the rain - so outfits that can be worn walking around outside are best. C] this is totally silly, but I based the outfits on the color green, because of the pea. I can totally get away with silly though, because what is more frivolous in the first place than this blog post? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, that is what. Except maybe your profile picture on facebook of you making out with your boyfriend with the lyrics to some junior high girl love song picniked over the top along with some hearts. But I digress. I should just stop talking and post cute outfit pictures.
Outfit #1: cute for class.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha "pea"coat, GET it? I so crack myself up with my subtle puns.
No, really I just like this outfit because of the repetition of the buttons on the jacket and on the dress, and because I like black and brown combos. The ring makes it more "princessy" and green. I think it would be a nice look for school (probably with a cardigan in addition to or instead of the jacket, for more temperature control because classrooms are weird, and maybe with flat boots if you don't like walking all over campus in heels.)
Outfit #2: study date.
I would wear this to go out for coffee and "studying" because although I can go to the library looking horrible, coffee shops just make me want to look cute as I sit at a little table sipping my drink and reading pretentious novels because that is what counts as schoolwork when you are an English major. The dress looks comfy but cute, the bag is can hold your laptop and a textbook but isn't the humongous ugly backpack you have to take to class if you've decided to worry about back pain more than aesthetic pain, and the coat will keep you adorable and cozy if you have to walk home.
Outfit #3: fancy date night.
Let me start off by saying that yes I am aware that everything in this ensemble is ridiculously overpriced, with the possible exception of the necklace but seriously even that you could just get at forever 21 for five bucks if you don't mind that it was made by impoverished asian toddlers. Anyhow, this is as shiny and girly as it gets without being pink, and I really want that jacket.
Outfit #4: comfy for walking.
Ted Baker Tiney Bow Front Dress, Green, 3, 64 GBP
Wool cape jacket, $395
Parisian Floral Lace Leggings | Parisian Leggings & Trousers @ USC, 12 GBP
Charles David Regiment, $352
Peas In A Pod Necklace, 16 GBP
grab some shade linen floppy hat, $47
Corsage Trim Cloche, 26 GBP
Small Leather Rucksack, 40 GBP
Because I have a tendency to be delusional, I can totally see myself wearing this on the plane trip back from Europe or some such cultured endeavor. But more likely, I would wear it for a day of walking around in the city - it's comfy but doesn't look sloppy and touristy. Plus, check out how adorable the peas in a pod necklace is!
P.S. I ultimately fail at being the princess from the story. I am the most plebeian person in the world. I know this because when I was little I slept with EVERYTHING under my mattress - flashlights, candy, library books I was hiding because mom would have thought they were frivolous (i.e. they were about high school girls), etc. And it never bothered me.
